And so it goes

It's day nine of the initial two-week grocery ban, and the native is restless. My milk has gone questionable, and I'm low on any remaining fresh ingredients - I have some tomatoes that haven't quite started to wrinkle and one avocado that I attempted to save by throwing it in the refrigerator drawer, but other than that - nada.

I did manage to make banana bread on Sunday with the two remaining bananas, although it bears little resemblance to the bread I know from my mother (despite the fact that I used her exact recipe - one of the eternal mysteries of recipes that are passed around my family is that they never end up the same as what we all grew up with). It's not bad, just...more banana-y than I would've preferred. Perhaps I didn't mash the banana quite enough so that it wasn't able to disappear into the bread well (is that supposed to even happen?).

The banana bread. Doesn't taste bad! Just banana-like (imagine that).

I posted two other recipes I made this weekend: cardamom shortbread, which used up my oats, and a s'mores pie, which didn't finish off anything but certainly was tasty - my only regret was not using more marshmallows on top. I brought it into lab yesterday to have other people help me eat it. I'm keeping the shortbread for myself (it has enough oats in it that I feel it can be qualified as breakfast food).

Other items I've used up: an open bag of pasta, some frozen arancini rice bites from TJs, and with both of those I'm doing my darndest to work through some marinara sauce I have in the fridge. I've also managed to polish off a few more snacks. To feel accomplished, I've taken some "in progress" pictures (only of the places that actually look different, which in itself is telling - I'm not showing the other three locations).

The shelf in the hallway:

At first.

Now! Ok, so there isn't a ton of difference, but it is slowly starting to shrink. The root beer, the salsa, and a pasta package have all disappeared. It's also gotten blurry - sorry about that. It's hard to tell on my tiny camera screen whether things are in focus or not.

The table:

At the beginning.

This is my favorite comparison because so much has disappeared from the bowl of snacks, and other items have actually been replaced with home cooked goods - exactly what I am aiming for in this whole endeavor!

 The freezer:

When I started....

This evening. Moving the ice tray was a bad idea, as it doesn't leave the space open. But there are several items missing: a box of waffles, some broccoli, and two boxes of ice cream treats. Plus you can see the tarte flambee on the upper left - I guarantee that will be gone within 48 hours.

However, despite the (slow) progress, I can hear the siren call of the grocery store. As if my own internal battle wasn't difficult enough, this arrived in the mail today:

Thanks a lot, Trader Joe's. As if my willpower wasn't receding enough already. Why must everything sound so delicious?

I've started to compose my own mental grocery list: berries, cream, milk, cheese, veggies. The tricky part of this is that I still want to make sure I'm eating healthy - or at least not significantly unhealthier than usual - and a big part of eating healthy is eating and cooking fresh. I think the most challenging part for me will be buying only items that I am sure I will have time to prep in meals. I have no shortage of ideas - I just can't let myself delude myself about how much time (or energy) I will have to make things. But I am still counting down the days until I can get back into a store and freshen up my supplies (to help, I plan to go only to Stop & Shop or farmer's market, where I find I can control myself much easier than TJs or Target).

Recipe #2: S'mores inspired pie

I came up with the idea for this recipe several months ago, and went so far as to purchase the marshmallows back in June, which of course means now they are sitting on my shelf taking up space. So today I used them! Or at least part of the bag. I may have to entertain myself several times over the next few months by putting the remainder in the microwave one by one.

So, here's the idea - I love s'mores, but I haven't been camping in years, and I don't believe you can get the same taste without toasted marshmallows. So using components from other recipes and my own imagination, I created a s'mores inspired pie. I hope you enjoy, and please feel free to mess around with the recipe - this is my first attempt at putting together my own baking concept (just let me know if you do, I'd love to hear additional ideas about this).

As usual, step-by-step pictures are below, and a shortened recipe is at the end.

Preheat oven to 350F. First step - if you don't have any graham cracker crumbs, make some. I go old-fashioned and use a rolling pin and a plastic bag (be sure to get out as much air as possible before sealing).

Start with this, and after some rolling and pounding...

you should get something like this!

Add in melted butter and sugar, mix until butter is evenly dispersed.

Action shot!

It will still be crumbly, but should appear damp from the butter.

 Set aside around 1/4 cup of the mixture. Press the remainder into a greased 9-inch pie pan. Bake for 8 minutes at 350F. Remove crust and turn oven down to 325F.

You can, of course, start with either a pre-made crust or graham cracker crumbs. I like making the crust fresh - and I use the arm workout of crushing the crackers as justification for eating more pie at the end.

While crust is in the oven (don't forget about it!), mix together melted butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Whisk until well-mixed, then add cocoa and flour. Mix until smooth, pour into partially-baked crust. I used this recipe as my inspiration for the filling.

Butter, eggs, sugar, vanilla, and cocoa. How could it not taste good?

Almost there!

In the crust, before returning to the oven.

Place pie in oven for 20 minutes at 325F. Take out - center will be jiggly still.

This is after 30 minutes - as outlined above and in the actual recipe, I recommend reducing the initial baking time to 20 minutes. Unless you really, really don't want a gooey center.

 Top pie with marshmallows and remaining graham cracker crust, return to the oven for 10 minutes.

Add more marshmallows than this. Please. This is the voice of experience talking. If I had mini marshmallows, you wouldn't be able to see the surface of the chocolate underneath.

In the oven for (almost!) the last time.

 At this point, the marshmallows should be gooey. If you want them lightly browned and better toasted (I did), you can turn the oven up to broil and stick it back in for a SHORT period of time - I got browning within 2-3 minutes.

Done!

 Slice and enjoy. It will be crumbly and the marshmallows will be sticky, but trust me, it's worth it.

Sample slice!

Verdict: As I mentioned, I would change two things about the way I did it. I would add WAY more marshmallows (they shrink while baking, so add more than you think you will need to compensate), and I would also do the initial baking for 20 minutes, so that the pie is baked for a total of 30 minutes and the center is ultra-gooey - think half-baked brownies. However, if you are not a fan of gooey half-done brownies, you can increase the initial baking of the chocolate center to 30 minutes and then add the marshmallows for an additional 10 minutes at the end.

Recipe:

For crust: 

1 package graham crackers (about 1 2/3 cup crushed)

5 tablespoons melted butter

3 tablespoons sugar

For filling (inspired by this fudge pie):

1/2 cup (1 stick) melted butter

3/4 cup sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1/4 cup all purpose flour

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa

Preheat oven to 350F. Mix together graham cracker crumbs, butter, and sugar. Set aside around 1/4-1/3 cup. Use the remaining to press into a 9-inch pie pan. Bake for 7-9 minutes at 350 degrees, until the crust just starts to brown. Remove from oven and turn temperature down to 325. 

For filling: Beat eggs with butter and sugar. Add in vanilla, mix well. Add cocoa and flour, mix until smooth. Pour into crust and bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Remove pie from oven (top will be soft still) and add marshmallows on top, pressing lightly. Sprinkle the remainder of the graham cracker mixture over the top and return to oven for 8-10 minutes. If desired, turn oven to broil and return pie to oven for a final time - watch closely! Remove when marshmallows start to turn a light brown.

Recipe #1: Cardamom shortbread

This was the sunset this evening, as taken from the roof of my building. It's not related to anything in this post, I just thought it was beautiful

I'm beginning my weekend cooking a bit late (9 pm on a Saturday isn't late, right? Lots of people stay out until the wee hours. I just cook until the wee hours). I was a little overwhelmed at all the options and still haven't decided on a savory meal. So instead, I'm turning to my usual procrastination method and baking some sweets.

I'm not sure where I initially found the recipe, but I love cardamom, so it was perfect: Cardamom shortbread! As a bonus - err, justification - it uses up the rest of my rolled oats.

Ingredients:

Only 6 ingredients! I added some nutmeg to make it seven, but overall, super simple.

It sounded straightforward, simple, and tasty - just what I need to get back into baking (I haven't really done any since my return from Zurich in mid-July). Pictures below, actual recipe at the end.

First, cream the butter and sugar together well, then add oats and vanilla.

Creamed mixture plus oats. I forgot to take a picture of just the butter and sugar, I got wrapped up catching up on the first season of Grimm (a poor not-really substitute for Buffy, but I do enjoy the wise-cracking werewolf-like sidekick).

An empty can! Am I the only one excited about this? (yes, probably). I can't guarantee there won't be more pictures of empty things as I use items up.

Add in flour, cardamom, and any other spices you might enjoy (I added some nutmeg), mix until it all comes together. Press mixture into a very, super well-greased 9-inch cake pan.

All pressed and ready to go! I would recommend tamping down around the edges a bit more than this.

 Bake in a 350F oven for around 25 minutes (I did closer to 30, but I'm fairly convinced that my oven thinks that 320 is the new 350). Let it cool in the pan for 10 minutes (important!).

Out of the oven and smelling divine.

 Carefully loosen the edges with a knife (this is made easier if the edges don't stick up very much, hence my advice to tamp them down well) and turn shortbread out onto a cutting board. Cut while still warm - hypothetically into wedges, but you can get creative. Allow to cool entirely before storing away into an airtight container.

I didn't wait an entire 10 minutes before the cutting board, so I had one piece that broke off. I then had to get creative with my wedges. Luckily, it doesn't have to be pretty to taste good.

Verdict: As might be expected with this much cardamom and so little flour, the flavor is strong - almost too much in some bites. However, I love cardamom and thought overall it was delicious - not too sweet, the texture was spot on for shortbread, and would taste absolutely divine with a lovely cup of chai or other black tea. I added in the dash of nutmeg to the recipe, and next time I would vary the spices more, but probably keep the overall amount (1 tsp total) the same. And I would definitely make it a next time!

Shortened recipe:

Ingredients:
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup rolled oats
1 tsp ground cardamom
2/3 cup flour
dash of nutmeg

Cream together butter and sugar. Add vanilla and oats, mix in. Add cardamom, nutmeg, and flour, mix until a dough forms. Press dough into very well-greased 9-inch cake pan and bake in a 350F oven for 25-30 minutes. Remove from oven, let cool in pan for 10 minutes. Carefully loosen edges with a knife and tap out shortbread onto a cutting board. Cut into wedges while still warm, let cool completely. Enjoy!

Can I go shopping yet?

It is Day 6 of my self-imposed no groceries, and I've decided I need to set the rules quickly, as I can sense my willpower slowly receding and being replaced by the urge to hit up a grocery store or a weekend farmer's market.

The Rules:

1. There shall be an initial two week ban on any food products entering the apartment.
2. Once the initial ban is lifted, all products purchased must be fresh/perishable (eg, dairy products, fruits, vegetables, eggs). Preferably organic or local.*
3. Items purchased must allow for progress to be made on at least two food articles currently inside the apartment - this can be two separate recipes, each helping to rid of one item, or one recipe that would use up two items.

*Ok, really this is just an excuse to seek out and troll farmer's markets and Haymarket while all the fall harvesting is happening. Because that is some tasty stuff.

We'll see how this works. Last night I was so proud of myself for baking up some crusted haddock from Target that I impulse bought last month, and adding some corn salsa from TJs that was sitting on my shelf. "This is awesome," I thought. "I'm going to be done in just a few weeks at this rate!" (I like to delude myself. It's an important part of surviving the PhD process).

My dinner, before. That red clearance tag might as well be a siren singing when I'm wandering the Target aisles.

My dinner, after. Honestly, the fish wasn't bad, I just need to find a better way to dress it up.

The problem is that, frankly, it wasn't as delicious as I imagined it would be when a starving me plucked it from the Target freezer, and now I have another 2 baked fish pieces sitting in my refrigerator for reheating.

I'm sorry to report the first collateral damage: I lost an avocado and all the grapefruit. I checked the avocado just a few days ago and it wasn't quite ripe - but apparently it turned the corner rather quickly. The grapefruit also seemed to go fast - probably should've kept them in the fridge. Live and learn! I'll have to choose my produce carefully when I let myself back into the grocery store to prevent such future tragedies.

Nothing's gone bad yet...

I'm sure that in a month I will be lamenting my (perceived) lack of food. However, right now, I feel I am in a race against time to eat anything that spoils easily. I feel a small thrill of triumph every time I finish something (so far: mango slices and chicken salad. Tasty, but nothing that has significantly made a dent in any of my food problem areas). I've been downing bananas as frequently as I can handle (WHY did I buy five of a fruit I don't even really like?!), but there are two remaining this morning, and they are starting show brown spots faster than I would expect. Ok, I have no expectations, since I haven't had bananas since high school, but it does seem to be fast. I actually love banana bread, which needs overripe bananas, but I don't think two is enough (unless someone has a recipe for one very small loaf - in which case, please share!).

So when does a banana actually go bad? Is the one on the left questionable yet? Also, the grapefruits in the background look accusatory - I haven't even opened the bag yet.

I can feel myself already starting to ponder the slightly empty fridge and feel the need to fill it. Which is absurd, since EVERY OTHER surface in my house is creaking under the weight of assortments of food products. I have several containers of pasta and a red sauce in the fridge and on my counter, so I may just make a large prep of that for the next two evenings, until I can get to the weekend and have a bit more time to plan meals and actually bake/cook them.

Snacks, however, haven't been a problem. They are close by as I watch television or work on my computer, and I've already finished two of the (mystically seemingly small) bags of jerky (one turkey, one organic beef).  After my run this evening, a few of the mini-ice cream cones disappeared (I blame the dog). I don't think finishing up the freezer desserts will be a trial. And maybe it will even let me remember what's behind them.

Also, after taking stock, I seem to have an overabundance of breakfast items. Eggs, sausages, turkey bacon, waffles, pancakes. Definitely planning a breakfast-for-dinner this weekend - great excuse to make my favorite bread, biscuits (Insert yearly rant about how no New England restaurants seem to feel the need to bake these - English muffins don't count, people!).

Refrigerator breakfast items. Not too bad - bacon and eggs can be used in a variety of great recipes. I still have pancake batter as well, though.

Annnd this is where it gets slightly absurd. Did I really need to purchase hash browns, waffles, AND chicken sausage in the same trip to the grocery store?

Today's plan: lots and lots of blackberries. They are delicious, but perilously close to the edge. They are the husband's favorite berry, so I'm not used to them being in the fridge more than 6 hours post-grocery store. Also, I'm actually going to try packing and bringing my lunch to lab in an attempt to use up food faster.

Still pondering the rules of the "no buying groceries" challenge I've set for myself. Husband suggested a "buy one if it will get rid of two," which sounds appealing but also could be easily manipulated by moi, especially whilst standing in the middle of lovely in-season produce or the baking supplies aisle. I can feel my willpower breaking down from here.

The challenge

So, it's the morning of day two of Project Use What Ya Got (I'll ponder on a catchier name. Suggestions are welcome).

This is the sum total of what I'm dealing with:

Part of my dining table (realistically just "table" - I live in a one bedroom, so this table is technically in the living room and I use it for anything I need space for - cooking, writing, piling crap on). This is where I have a problem with snacks getting slightly out of control. And for people who know me - yes, those really are bananas. I had a weird craving for them. I still don't like how they smell, but I have eaten 3 already.

Part of the shelf in my "hallway." This is where impulse buys go and rarely get used (this includes the soda, the sea salt, and whatever that is in front of the mustard). Note the large number of green "Archer Farm" items. Also, don't judge about the marshmallows - I bought them for a specific recipe that I haven't had a chance to bake yet.

My refrigerator. It's actually not in that bad of shape, since I just cleaned it out on Sunday. I'm working my way through the chicken salad (middle shelf, from Trader Joe's) and the pancake batter (top shelf, looks similar to a whipped cream can).

My Freezer! Packed to the brim with Trader Joe's items, which is definitely the worst place for fun freezer impulse buys. The problem is that you can't even see the layer behind the front, which I'm sure is where all the old stuff is lurking. I just bought the powdered chai on top of the freezer for my sister, who has a recipe she wanted to try last time she visited and we couldn't find it anywhere. I swear I'm going to give it to her.

The cabinet above my sink. Keeper of several lurking items that need to be used up (I'm looking at you, refried beans and applesauce), but for the most part this is actually full of staples for both baking and cooking that I have no guilt about owning.

Part of the cart in my kitchen. These need to be used up or put into cabinets because it is literally the only counter space I have in my entire kitchen, and..well, obviously, I can't use it as it currently stands.

Ok, I actually forgot about this cabinet until I started taking pictures. It's above my stove, and is full of instant mixes and cereal. I used to use the instant mixes quite a lot, but then I actually started baking and now they feel like cheating.

The goal is to empty my table (Picture 1), shelf (Picture 2), counter space (Picture 6), and seriously cut into freezer items (Picture 4). I cleaned out my fridge (Picture 3) on Sunday morning, so everything in it is fresh and yet to be expired. I also have my cabinet (Picture 5), which is full, but I have no delusions of emptying it. Compared to the other locations, the cabinet plays a supporting role - it has a lot of ingredients (flour, beans, rice, sugar, baking supplies) that will hopefully get used up as I wade through my other supplies.

(I just realized the entire above paragraph is written as if I were composing a "Results" section of a peer-reviewed paper. You can take the kitchen out of a scientist, but you can't take the scientist out of the ...well, anyway.)

Oh, and I also have a tea problem:

I actually have a couple more teas stashed elsewhere because nothing else fits in this cabinet. Oops.

Much of the tea I've actually acquired over the summer (I'll pretend that's true), when it's too hot outside to have a mug in the evening or morning. However, I may need to branch out into iced teas in order to make a dent in it before December.

Currently I am busy trying to eat all the fruit and early perishables (blackberries, mango slices) that I have in my refrigerator. As well as eat as many pancakes as possible this morning (the batter that expires August 16 - cutting it close!).

My breakfast - pancake sandwiches with blackberries and a cocoa almond butter (similar to Nutella). So far, eating what I have is pretty tasty.

My milk expires in a couple days, so I may need to set some ground rules about what I am allowed/not allowed to replace. I feel that milk is acceptable. I have yet to decide about items such as yogurt (I usually eat it for breakfast, which could prevent me from using up some other items such as instant oatmeal), or fresh fruit (mainly berries, which are all super delicious, but sometimes I do a poor job of finishing them before they go bad). Any suggestions as to rules I should set for myself? Although even allowing myself into the grocery store for milk could be a dangerous game...

A new leaf

So I had to give away most of my plants. And the three I kept (bell pepper, strawberries, and some herbs) have been slowly dying over the past month. The bell pepper looked promising at first, but some sneaky little bugs just moved in last week and have accelerated its yellowing process. I tried cleaning the leaves of both the strawberry and the bell pepper yesterday, but most of the leaves crumbled in my hands.

Sadness.

HOWEVER - there have been other happenings on the horizon. Including, most significantly, approval to FINISH MY PHD (ok, you all already know this, since the six people who read this blog are my parents, sisters, husband, and maybe my in-laws). But I still repeat it a lot because that makes it more real.

So, what does that mean? That means that I am doing my darndest to set a calendar and stick to it. My current plan is to defend in early December and be out of Boston by the new year. It sounds far away, but I've already committed sending my first dissertation chapter in late September, which sounds very close.

What also sounds close is that over the course of less than four months, my apartment needs to empty itself out. I have to use/sell/donate/throw away/ship to Switzerland everything that I own (options listed in order of preference). And I own a LOT.

I have issues with books - especially remainders, or "Bargain Books" as they call them at Brookline Booksmith ("Ooooohhh, only $4 for a hardcover! I've vaguely heard of this subject area, and now suddenly I want to know everything about it and this book is the perfect opportunity! I can't let it get away. Look, a mystery! And a current fiction! And sudoku! And more crosswords! MUST BUY THEM ALL." The dangers of bookstores are highly underrated). Although, to be honest, I also have a problem with getting rid of books, so most likely we are looking at some expensive, heavy boxes to be shipped (to save, I plan to send them by ship, preferable a steam one. Is that still a thing?)

I have issues with clothes - especially clearance ones. ("Oooh, another graphic tee, and this one is only $6! One can never have too many graphic tees! Plus who wants to do laundry regularly? If I get these four shirts, that's almost another week I can skip. Hmm, but in order to do that, I'll need more socks. Ooooh, these socks have sushi on them! I definitely need these.") I have managed to cut down on this habit and now anytime I try something on at home and don't like the way it fits, it automatically goes into a donation bag. I just donated six bags of clothing this past weekend - and I still have 2 closets, an overflowing dresser, and a plastic bin full. It's a slow process.

I also have problems with food and groceries. Possibly because the grocery store is between home and lab, so it serves as a poor substitute for retail therapy after a long day in lab. Or possibly because when I am heading home I am always hungry, and even frozen french fries suddenly appear delectable amid the grumblings of my stomach.

Accentuating the groceries problem is that I buy dog food at Target. Which, of course, means that I am in Target every two to three weeks. The Target closest to me recently expanded, and now the dog food is next to the people food. Those stupid store designers/psychologists are REALLY good. I've read articles about how they design the stores to make people wander and look at/buy things they don't need, yet I still do it - every single time. Gah. Target is the Holy Grail of "Snacks you never knew existed and yet now need to buy" and I mostly blame Archer Farms. Stupid dark green packaging and attractive photographs! Apparently the only way to not spend too much money at Target is to never, ever GO to Target. At least at the grocery store I do a decent job of sticking to the edges of the store and thus typically buy fresh-ish type of items.

/end Target rant

So, why am I posting all this? Because I have posed myself a challenge over the next few months. After hitting both Target and Trader Joe's this past weekend and finding myself a couple hundred dollars down (if I had smelling salts, I would now give them to my parents and husband. Sorry and I love you guys!), I realized that I needed to get serious about using up items I already have.

The problem is that I have often told myself to do this previously. True, I didn't have an exit date looming on the horizon, but I did have a full fridge and cupboard. And I still bought more. So, how to make myself accountable? Well, first thing, I posted my intentions on facebook (the keeper of all commitments). However, I figured people there didn't need to hear my updates on how I'm doing, so while the initial intent is honorable, the follow-through is nil.

So instead, I'm hi-jacking my defunct garden blog (although the garden will be resurrected in Zurich next spring! I've made a patio for plants part of my "must have" list for an apartment - right below "dishwasher" and "kitchen larger than a cardboard box") and using this as a way to keep me on track and also keep note of any fun recipes I might discover on the way.

If you want to follow along, please feel free. If you have no interest and prefer to wait until I talk about plants more, feel free to check back in next March or April (when does it get warm in Zurich?). <3